At the risk of losing followers, I’m going to use a scenario out of the book “the shack”. The book revolves around a father whose daughter is kidnapped and killed. God tells the father to forgive the evil man who did it, as She knows that its the only way for him to heal. God says (and this is verbatim because I don’t have the book & I’m stating it from memory) that he needs to forgive him every day, and one day, he will start to believe it. She makes the grief stricken father say “I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you” continually. Forgiveness is not something that happens over night. I don’t believe that you can one day say “ok, all is forgotten, I forgive you”. That’s not how we work. Our memories work to well! So instead I believe that forgiveness is something that needs to be worked on.
I’ve spoken about this in my post 101 things about me. Everyday I have to say to myself, “I forgive her”. I forgive my stepmother for my parents divorce. I know that my mom and dad are both equally at fault, but as I saw the pain both of them experienced first hand, I have forgiven them both a long time ago. I know it was a difficult thing for both of them. Whether blaming her is right or fair is not the question, the fact is that I do, and I’m working on forgiving her.