Even though I DON’T want to talk about the damn painting I’m going address it, just quickly while I sit waiting for Lily to wake up. I’m so over hearing about the presidents penis I can’t tell you! What the hell?
Firstly, the painting is not even good. Its not art IMO and the ‘spear’ looks like a cartoon drawing, like it was an after thought. I think the ‘artist’ thought “how can I cause the most uproar? Oh wait I think I’ll paint a penis! That always gets attention”.
Secondly, I think that the president should consider why no one has ever painted a picture like this of President Obama? Or Nelson Mandela? I don’t think anyone would even consider it, because they have the respect! I’m not politically minded at all (even though I did a year of politics at varsity) so I’m NOT going to talk politics here so please please don’t attack me for saying this. I’m just stating that the president should look deep and consider WHY this painting came about rather than WHAT its of.
Thirdly, what is it with breasts? Vaginas? Penises? The breastfeeding picture also caused all sorts of uproar. Seriously people, get over it. We all have them. We’ve all seen them. We don’t care!
And that’s all I have to say about that.
*warning, this post is not for the squeamish.
So Lily has a huge pooh in her nappy. Cool, I’m ready, I get prepared. She has a toy, I have a nappy packet ready to put everything in, wet wipes, bum cream, clean nappy all at the ready. She’s lying happily on her back banging her toy on the wall. I take her pants off (which are full of it) and open her nappy. And all hell breaks loose. As I open it, she drops her toy on the floor, and *somehow* grabs her nappy and yanks it out from under her!!! so this pooh filled nappy flies up and goes all over her, the table and the wall! I start screaming because that’s what I do when I don’t know what to do. She’s laughing and rolling and spreading it around! I seriously had no idea what to do! Then she started crying because I was freaking out so now I HAD to pick her up! Right, into the bath! So I stripped her clothes, made her stand naked and pooh covered in the bathroom while I ran a hasty bath and dunked her in it! She was in 7th heaven now as she adores water. So splashed and squealed while I soaped her up and refound my gorgeous child from under a layer of mess!
After all the drama and both of us were cleaned up and smelling sweet again (as well as all the clothes and towels in the washing machine) I couldn’t help but laugh. Imagine it was Shauns turn to change her!!!
You know, the world could be a much easier place if it wanted to be, for parents. A few easy inventions, or changes, and life would be so much simpler- and funner!
Firstly a change that mothers (and women in general) ask for constantly. Move the damn sweets from the check out! Please! It creates unnecessary temptation! I very rarely manage to get through the aisle of torment unscathed, and have seen it cause more than a few toddler tantrums!
Secondly, trolleys should have brakes. I can’t count the number of times I have had a trolley full of groceries roll into my car, because I’ve been juggling the baby, nappy bag and trying to unlock the car. Mind you I probably can count the ways, just have to count the chips in the paint! A simple break, like those on a baby pram, would solve this!
Another thing is that TV remotes should have key lock, like cell phones. Lilys favourite toy is the remote, and last week she somehow managed to change all the menus to Spanish. No idea how my genius child did this but I had to figure out how to change it back!
For pregnant women, a sweety that aids heart burn and doesn’t taste absolutely disgusting like Gaviscon does.
Some other things that would really be awesome include someone inventing a cure for husbands gag reflex when they’re changing pooh nappies. Shaun seriously said today that its not fair, women were created with less squeamish stomachs so they can change nappies easier. HA! He’s not getting out of it that easily. I said woman only are less squeamish because if they didn’t change them they wouldn’t get done! A hysterical story from Kim (@flabbymommy) last week. Her husband was changing her babies nappy and puked all over her. This had all us twitter moms laughing for days!
I’d also like detachable boobs (yes I know you’re going to call them bottles, but that’s not what I mean). That I can leave with the baby while I quickly go to the loo or answer the phone.
While we’re at it, how about chocolate that makes you thin, wine that you can drink while breastfeeding and some sort of decaf coffee or energy drink that still packs the same punch for us sleep deprived mothers!
Everyone always says ‘trust your gut’, but my question has always been ‘how do I know if its right?’ I am a terrible decision make, I umm and ahhh over everything. I also second guess myself constantly. “Did you turn your hair straightner off Shaz? Yes – I did. Are you sure? Ummm. Best go check” same thing with, “did you lock your car/close the gate/turn the kitchen light off” I KNOW I did it, but don’t trust myself so check again. So when everyone told me that, as a mother, I’d know if something wasn’t right, I wasn’t sure it would apply to me. When Lily was born I promised myself that no matter what, I’d trust my gut. If that means I check on her every 10 mins because I ‘feel’ its needed, so be it. The one time this happened, where I checked on her all the time because I felt I had to, she was getting eaten by mozzies and was covered in bites. I ALWAYS listen to my gut. This usually means that I walk into the room as she’s waking up, or catch her as she’s about to fall. The one time I didn’t listen to the voice in my head (heart?) She fell off the bed, because I thought ‘oh I’m sure she’s fine I just want to listen to the punch line on Modern Family’.
This morning I woke up and thought somethings wrong. Lily was sleeping on a mattress on the floor next to our bed. She throws herself around in her cot and hurts herself. She’s usually in bed with us, but at 2am I put her on her mattress because she was so restless.
I sprang up and put my hand on her back, she was lying on her tummy at the top of the mattress.
She was ice cold and dead still.
I screamed and shook her and she was like a rag doll. Shaun jumped up and put on the light and she opened her eyes and looked around shocked. No crying. No noise. Just looked around and started coughing. She then put her head on my chest and lay quietly. We were both in an absolute panic trying to decide what to do. We put her in bed with us, I put her on my chest and covered us both and when she started rooting (is it still called that if they’re not newborn? Well you know what I mean anyway) I fed her. I felt much better when she latched well and drank and went back to sleep.
I can honestly say it was the worst moment of my life. I totally freaked out and obviously didn’t sleep again! The thing is, she is such a light sleeper. I poke her constantly because I’m paranoid and she always moves. If I put my hand on her back she wriggles. There is no way she will normally sleep through a crazy person screaming and shaking her. I’m telling myself that it was an abnormally deep sleep, and that I’m over reacting, but you see, my gut has never been wrong before and for me to have such a strong reaction- before I had even touched her, tells me that all was not well.
She woke up at 7am as usual and was as happy as always ate and drank and played all day with absolutely no problems. She is perfectly ok.
Here’s my question. The ONLY this I did differently yesterday was use that Ashton and Parsons teething powder before bed. Could it have caused this? Could it be that it worked well and so she was actually sleeping well for a change? Or could it have put her into TO deep of a sleep? Could it have lowered her body temperature? I don’t know. But I will be throwing it away that’s for sure!!!
The moral of the story is, trust your gut. Its never wrong and your babies will thank you.
I’ve written a post like this before, but I’m going to ‘top it up’ now. Most of my friends haven’t had babies yet and keep saying ‘remember to tell me that when I have a baby’ when I figure out something the hard way. So here’s a few things worth remembering Jen, Petria, Rochelle and maybe even Nadia 🙂
1. Huggies nappies leak, they might not on your babies but they do on Lily so I only use Pampers, they’re cheapest from Dischem
2. Pigeon breast pads and wet wipes are the best
3. In the first few weeks of breastfeeding feed as long as baby wants to and as often as she wants to. Maybe that means its an hour or more at a time. Your nipples will be sore and you’ll cry but suck it up, its worth it in the end.
4. After a natural birth the nurse shoves a suppository up your bum (without warning or consent in my case). Be prepared. Next time I’ll ask them not to, but its a pain killer for afterpains so you might want it.
5. Use a dummy. Seriously just use it.
6. When buying a pram consider your boot+grocery shopping. Also make sure it has a ‘mom tray’ on the top handle bars and that a baby bottle can actually fit in the bottle holder.
7. Buy a see me baby, baby wrap. It is a miracle wrap.
8. Also get a bouncy chair, ours cost R300, and Lily used it every day for the first few months. She absolutely loved it.
9. Let baby spend time on the floor, they won’t like tummy time to start off with but once they figure out how to roll they’ll love it!
10. Sudacream for nappy rash, sore nipples and any other skin stuff.
11. Drink your jungle juice mix!
12. Get daddy to bath baby if possible, it gives you 5 mins to lie on the bed and read your Time line or stare into space alone. Also gives dad and baby some bonding time. They need something they can do together alone.
13. Brown sugar really does work for constipation.
14. Avo and banana mixed is a winner! (Thanks @momallot)
15. Purity veg tastes gross, but the fruit is yum. Make your own and freeze it in purity jars or ice cube trays. Biltong, rice cakes and marie biscuits also go down so well!
I hope you guys decide to have babies soon, Lily needs some friends!
I am so blessed with the mother I have. She is my all time best friend and the most wonderful person, she is the first person (after Shaun) that I call when I hear anything good/bad and is always there for a chat no matter what. I talk to her every single day, usually much more than just once a day! She is an amazing nanny to Lily and sends her packages of goodies nearly every month, all washed, ironed and ready to wear so that I don’t have to do it! When she came to stay when Lily was born she cooked for us, cleaned my house, made my bed and looked after Lily and kept me sane! She’s a strong, intelligent and beautiful woman who has survived so much in her life and come out smiling! I only hope I can be half a good mother to Lily as she has been to me. I’m so lucky to have her, and so is Lily!
I’m also blessed with an amazing Mother in law. There was a chat on twitter the other day about MILS and the terrible things some ladies have to deal with. I’m so lucky not to have that. My MIL loves me as a daughter and respects my relationship with her son and my rights as a mother. She doesn’t interfere with the way I’ve chosen to parent and support us however she can. She spoils us all whenever she comes down, always buying stuff for Lily and for our house. I catch up with her at least once a week for a gossip and look forward to our chats! She is a strong woman who I know we can always rely on and who will always give us great advice and support in life.
Happy mothers day to my moms, and all the other moms in my life. I’m fortunate enough to be surrounded by fantastic mothers, and I hope I can make you all proud!
Breastfeeding vs Formula feeding? Cloth nappies vs Disposable nappies? Co-sleep vs own room? Home cooked food vs Store bought? Vegetarian vs Meat Eater vs Vegan? Stay at Home Mom vs Working Mom? Nanny vs Day Mother vs Daycare? Gay or Straight? Racist or not? Liberal or Conservative? Tea or Coffee? Sweet or Salty? Chocolate or Vanilla?
We are faced with so many choices in life. Some of them take hours and hours of deciding, careful consideration and angst goes into them, others are easy and no brainers. The fact is that no matter what we choose, no matter how easy or difficult a decision it was, its our decision and shouldnt be judged. Ive mentioned in posts before how I try very hard to not judge, but have to remind myself of this often. The fact is that its pretty ingrained in us to judge others. But why? Is it really any of my business? Who the hell am I? Why should anyone be allowed to judge anyone else on their choices in life? I choose to breastfeed, co-sleep and stay at home with my baby (for as long as is financially possible). I also choose to eat meat, drink skim milk, choose sweet over salty, coffee over tea and tab over coke light. These choices have as much to do with others as the big decisions.
Today President Obama announced his support for Gay marriage. Finally. I cant believe its taken this long and I cant believe how many people are against it. Many of my friends and family are to, Hell, most of them! That’s fine, I don’t care if you are against or for it, just as I don’t care if you are racist or not. As long as your views don’t effect anyone else negatively, I don’t care. This means NOT using the K word in a tweet that gets broadcast around the world, or stopping people who love each other getting married. Other peoples choices, that don’t affect us, shouldn’t be judged. No matter what. I might think that breastfeeding is the best, but I am not going to judge you if you don’t agree with me. I don’t want to sleep train my baby, but I don’t care if you do- geez to be honest I admire you for the strength you have, and I’m pretty jealous of all the sleep you’re going to be getting.
I dont know where I’m going with this or what my point is, was just on my mind!
*plz excuse typos on this post- typing while fighting off Lily who is trying to grab my computer!