A quick one on rudeness and kindness


Seriously if someone is rude to me it ruins my whole day, I know its over sensitive but it does. How hard is it to smile dammit? Would it kill you to say hello?
Today I’ve got a sick baby and an empty fridge and grocery cupboard so I HAD to go out. I took the pram so that she would be comfy and warm and I hooked bags to the handles which I filled with groceries. When I got to the cashier Lily started yelling and wanted out so I picked her up, out of the pram and put the bag of groceries on the counter. I’m now juggling a crying baby, pram, handbag, trying to get loyalty cards out my purse and the cashier looks at me. That’s it. I say ‘hello, how are you’ (yes I can still be polite while juggling a million things, one of which is a crying, snotty baby). She looks at me. She looks at the bag. And sits. She refuses to help me unpack it. seriously. She can see how frazzled I’m getting but sits and watches me unpack everything and then repack it.
Am I expecting to much? If it was me I would have helped, if I was the person behind me I would have helped too. Maybe I expect to much of people but seriously, its ruined my day. I wish people were just a bit kinder and a bit more friendly.

PS: on that note, on being kind, I want to ask you all about giving money to beggars. Do you? Do you give money or food or clothes? I read an article online saying you should never give money because they buy drugs/alcohol and cigs and I must admit that’s how I feel usually but I feel so awful when, like this morning, I see a little boy in PJ pants, no shirt or shoes in 18 degree weather, begging. I didn’t have any money on me so I didn’t give him anything but feel very guilty now. A week ago I gave a woman R30 because she looked like she was going to cry and I felt bad. I KNOW she smoked or drank it because she’s a regular, but I felt so bad. I have so much. Think I’m going to start crocheting beanies for the kids and go through my cupboards for some warm clothes and hand them out at the robots. At least then I’ll feel like I’m doing something.
What do you think?


About ournextbigadventure

After a few years of travelling around and itchy feet, my husband and I have embarked on our greatest adventure yet...parenthood! We have been blessed with a beautiful little girl named Lily Sage. Now everyday is filled not with questions of "where to next?" but with baby smiles, hiccups and milky breaths.

3 responses »

  1. I think the whole beggar thing is difficult because some just waste the money but some really need it, so ja, I think it’s up to using your own discretion. I once gave a guy R100 cause I was convinced that he really needed it, but if my gut tells me no, I don’t bother and I don’t feel bad afterwards.

  2. I have a nice story about this. I was standing in the pharmacy queue with a sick niggly baby. I was overtired and sick as well, and the baby just wanted to crawl around. But I knew if I put him down he would just pull everything off the racks. So I was having a very difficult time holding him. The the guy standing in the queue behind me started playing peekaboo with him and just kept him entertained for very very long. When I got in my car I saw he got into a marked car and then realised it was Augusto Palacios, the coach for Orlando Pirates. What a nice guy.

    On giving things for beggars, especially kids. I used to work for a charity in Hillbrow, and we were never allowed to give anything to the kids except for food and then they had to eat it in front of us. they were not allowed to take it with them. In this case the children had places where they could go to if they wanted food, clothes or shelter, so if they were out on the street it was by choice because the were drug users, mostly sniffing glue. It was so sad that the glue caused brain damage, and worst case scenario death. Especially in the winter, because they wouldn’t feel the cold. If you gave them anything, sandwiches, clothes etc they would just go and sell it to get glue money. So the best thing for them, as horrible as it feels is to give them nothing, so that they get so desperate that they go to a place of safety

  3. I don’t think you were expecting too much… But guess kindness is not a universal trait afterall. Hope Lily is back to her old self

    On giving money I sometimes do give money but most times I give food – you know like bread you’ve had in the freezer for a few days which is still good but which you know you won’t eat or fruits. So instead of throwing it out, I take it in my car and give it to someone who is begging. I usually feel better giving things in kind than money!

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