Monthly Archives: September 2012

The story of how I lost our passports. Twice.

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Firstly I would like to state that losing the passports was NOT MY FAULT. It was Shauns because he knows what a loskop I am and yet he still trusted me with them.

So its three days after our wedding. We have spent the last 3 days in Bela Bela at an amazing game lodge, we’re both well rested after an amazing wedding. Getting married is exhausting, which is why I was so glad to have those few days to chill before we flew off to Bali for 10 days. I had no idea where we were going until we were on our way to the airport, when Shaun handed me a folder containing our tickets, passports and all the hotel bookings, money and important stuff. I was thrilled and slightly nervous because I’m not a great flyer. When we got to the airport, checked in and went through I decided to pop to the bathroom and freshen up and take some rescue to calm my nerves. Once I was finished I met Shaun and we walked to the other side of OR Tambo to the gate to get on the plane. We were almost there when Shaun said, where’s the tickets. I said, ‘you have them’ already my heart had stopped because I knew he didn’t. And I knew that I didn’t either. And I knew that I had no idea who did have them.

Shit.

Shaun freaks out and stomps and growls at me to find them now. I scream back at him that I have no idea where they are, what am I meant to do and shit what do we do now??? Then I think, maybe, just maybe I did it (again). Maybe they’re in the bathroom. I bolt across the airport, bags flying, and crash into the bathroom. As I fly in the security are opening my little folder with a witness to see whose it is. I swear I nearly crumbled into a ball on the floor I was so relieved. After proving to them who I was I had to go to Shaun with my tail between my legs and apologize. Oops. Well, we went on to have an amazing honeymoon with no more losses, mainly due to the fact that Shaun took on all grown up responsibilities.

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Bali Bliss

The second time was again, entirely Shauns fault. We were leaving for Australia on our little adventure. The whole family was with us and my dad continually asked where the important docs were and Shaun made a big deal of the fact that HE was keeping them, not me. We decided to get our bags wrapped in cling wrap as a safety precaution and while we were standing there Shaun handed me the file of docs to hold while he loaded all the bags back onto the trolley. We walked to the check in desk and loaded all the luggage to be loaded and Shaun turned to me and said, where are the tickets.

Shit

Yup. I did it again. The blood drained from my face and I had absolutely no idea where they were. I frantically rummaged through my hand luggage, jacket, suit cases. Nothing. Shaun is cursing, my dad is saying ‘I told you not to let her hold them!’ My best friend is jumping up and down yelling ‘yay now you can’t leave!’ When the cling wrap guys caught my attention and waved my little folder at me. Thank goodness!!!

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Australia. Shaun refuses to smile for the camera.

So you see, it wasn’t really my fault. Both times it was Shauns fault. No doubt.

Since then I’ve gotten a lot better, and a hell of a lot more paranoid. But if something goes missing now Shaun ALWAYS blames me. Always. Even if I didn’t touch whatever it was, I’m always to blame. Just because HE lost our passports. Twice.

Time to clip my wings and scratch my feet?

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One thing I have inherited from my nan, asides from my poofy cheeks, is restlessness. we’re both restless souls and feel the need to keep moving. She deals with this now by having a yearly holiday to somewhere interesting, and moving the furniture around her flat. This isn’t enough for me though.

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There is a reason that Shaun and I move every six months and her name is Shannon. I have itchy feet and a fear of ‘settling’. After we have been somewhere for such a long time, six months or so, I start to think ‘where to next’. ‘Can I see myself in this same place in 5 years time?’. I’ve never been able to answer that with a yes. I am always looking for our next adventure. Yes, I know that this blog is dedicated to exactly that, my sweet Lily. And she is a wonderful adventure, but she just makes me feel even more ‘itchy’. I now want to show her things! I want to travel more and drag my little family with me. I want to live somewhere new and different! I want to live out of a suitcase, learn a new language and figure out the exchange rate. I want to have an opportunity to lose our passports for the third time-because they have been safely nestled in the filing for almost 3 years now. (The story of the first 2 times is for another post, suffice it to say that it was actually Shauns fault that I lost them, he shouldn’t have given them to me in the first place). My new thing is I want to go back to England. Yup. I really do. Like really really. My heart aches for it. Its silly as I wanted to come home so badly! But I miss England so much. I miss the walks in the woods on a Sunday followed by a braai (sometimes in the snow) and reading trashy mags. I miss taking the train to London and getting lost (followed by a screaming match with my grumpy husband, who HATES getting lost- even though it happens so often he really should be used to it by now). I miss the loooooong summer days, dressing in 8 layers of clothes in winter, walking along the canals to the pub and having fish and chips in the sun. I miss missing South Africa. I came home so positive and excited for our new life back here, and that spark is disappearing.

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Shaun now wants to buy a house. This has me super excited and utterly terrified. I can’t believe the commitment. What ifs are keeping me awake at night, not to mention the thought of a hut on the beach in Bali. Home schooling my kids and spending days learning the balinese culture and lifestyle. Or maybe a farm house in the deep south in America? In one of those tiny towns where they only have one petrol station? Or maybe a high rise building in new york, with a doorman and a local deli. I’m getting carried away. I often say, if I could do my life over, I’d be a hippy with a back pack and a passport.

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Bali

What is not helping is that I can’t find a house or area I love. And when I do its so far out of our price range that we can’t even see it anymore. Universe, how’s about some guidance here? I need to know where I’m meant to be and what I’m meant to do. Am I destined to stay here? Am I ever going to find a job that I love? Am I going to find our dream house? Come on, just a little tug in the right direction is all I’m asking.

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freezing in England

Ps: we’re not packing for England yet. But I’m working on it. Maybe not next week, or even next year. But maybe the year after that. Sleeping on my uncles couch for a month won’t work if we have a baby in tow! So will need to go with a better plan, or any plan, next time.

Parent24

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Shew. Who would have thought one innocent article would have such an impact. When I set out to write an article on attachment parenting for parent24 all I thought was, 1. how cool will it be to see my name in print and 2. I hope I can convince people that AP isn’t weird. That’s all. And yes to be honest in the back on my mind I may have thought, it would be cool if people thought that what I have to say is a good idea, a way forward and a fun way to raise their kids. That said, I didn’t set out to tell people how to raise their kids or what not to do. I just wanted to show people how AP is not this ‘extreme’ thing. Everyone does it to some extent, as Jen so rightly pointed out. My BMFF (best mom friend forever) does not breastfeed or co sleep, but she holds so many of the same ideas as me that I immediately think of her as an ‘attachment parent’. Its a silly label that no one can fit into 100%. The term that seemed to offend the most was ‘parenting gently’. Never did I imagine that it would be taken as badly but it was. I am against smacking and harsh discipline. There. I said it. I don’t like it when parents exert their will on their kids. I feel if you treat your child with respect from the beginning you will not need to use violence as a form of discipline. That said, when Lily bit me a week ago I wanted to smack her, badly. It was so sore and I was so angry I had to step away. Shaun has also smacked her hand before because she has messed with the DSTV decoder so many times that it is now totally busted. The fact is, it doesn’t work. All it shows is that violence is a way to solve problems. I can already feel the waves of indignation and disapproval flowing towards me. Seriously, I don’t care if you smack your kids, ok I lie, I do. But does my opinion matter? No, not one tiny bit.

I am all for debate, please please debate and tell me why you don’t agree with co sleeping, or my approach to discipline, but don’t accuse me of judgment. I am not judging you, I will never judge you. I have stated before that I WILL judge parents who don’t strap their kids in, mothers who smoke when pregnant and racists. That’s all. Debate is good, supportive debate. Not debate that is so nasty it leaves you feeling beaten up.

On the other hand, I am THRILLED with the support I got and I sincerely hope that Parent24 will let me write for them again, despite the resultant nastiness.

And this is the last that will be said about it, the following blog posts will be full of sillyness and fun, just like we like it!

Please go and have a look at my article if you havent already, and comment if you like it, or if you don’t!

http://www.parent24.com/Toddler_1-2/development_behaviour/Is-attachment-parenting-extreme-20120907