July, a good month!

I want to write a blog about my theories on smacking and dealing with a non-sleeping toddler (yes, I saw the subtweets) but since my last post was a soap box post I thought I would post something light hearted for now. Life and work are really interfering with my blogging; I am just so busy with work and my little family. So when I do get a minute I end up ranting about things that have been brewing for a few days. So bear with me with those posts, if you don’t want to read them, don’t.

 

Here is a snap shot of our life at the moment:

• Lily has finally learned to say thank you, it is the cutest thing when I had her something and she says “dan doo”. I am now working on please and getting her to say thank you for having me to her teacher. I realize it is unreasonable but I hate it when she says “more more” and I constantly say through gritted teeth “more please!” So now she says ‘more?’ with a head tilt and a lilt in her voice and I know she is trying to be polite. Ha ha, it’s the small things.
• Baby is a girl! She is now 18 weeks and growing a week ahead of her age-which is great! I am feeling small kicks at least once a day but I have to focus to feel them, they’re still tiny.
• Lily knows there is a baba in mommy’s tummy, but thinks she has one in her tummy too. And if I try say there is a sister in mommies tummy she gets upset and says ‘no, baba’!
• My cousin, Tyrone, is living with us for a little while and it is great, Lily adores him and it is great to have someone around to reminisce with. We spend ages chatting about family holidays and things we have seen.
• I had an amazing birthday, celebrated all week and was spoilt like mad. My mom spent the weekend with us and we just had a ball. It continued into the following week with a surprise gift from my dad and my bonus, and has ended off with me falling in love with my tax consultant who got me an awesome rebate. Who says birthdays need to only be one day? I celebrate mine all month….
• Work is going so well, I am learning so much and can’t believe I have only been working in IT for 8 months. It is so nice to find a spot I fit into. If I have to write a list of my talents and things that I’m good at, the list would be short. But I AM good at reading people and talking to people. So this job suits me fine.
• I got an Air Fryer from my mom in law and I LOVE it! Does anyone else have one? We are having a ball experimenting with it. you know you’re a grown up when your list of favourite things looks like this:
  •  Dishwasher
  • Kindle
  • Slow cooker
  • Ipod
  • Airfryer
  • Popcorn maker
• August should be fairly peaceful, hopefully with a visit from my cousin Lorraine and her lovely little family, and a lovely day off. September will be mad, we have Lilys birthday, then I have a quick trip to JHB for my mom’s pamper party, and then the wedding two weeks later. Might spend a week in JHB afterwards but all depends on leave.
• I am still breastfeeding, it sucks (excuse the pun). Breastfeeding when pregnant is the pits. 18 weeks in and it is still sore. But, we all get more sleep this way, so I am sucking it up. My favourite motto.
• I have just finished the 5^th Wave by Rick Yancey and loved it, gripping and hectic. It does involve aliens BUT it is a story about the humans, and is really god. Worth a read if you can bear the suspense of waiting for the follow up. I also read The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult which was one of the most harrowing reads in a long time. I have read hectic books before but this is so crazy, written as a first person account of a concentration camp in WW2. As a mother I am a lot more sensitive to these things then I ever was before. I am currently reading the new Karen Slaughter which I got as a birthday gift (her books are awesome, albeit gory) and the newest Dan Brown (my problem with this is that I keep seeing Tom Hanks with bad hair when I read it, I wish I had never seen those stupid movies). Oh! And the final Sookie Stackhouse was good, but I am sad that the series is finished, it was always a good, light read. And I loved the nod to Karen Slaughter in it! True blood Season 6 is veering so off track from the books, I have no idea where they are going with it. Let’s be honest though, if we can look at Eric who really cares?

That’s all for now, I will climb onto my soap box with my next post, read it, don’t read it….

Here is a rant, something that has got me thinking.

* I’m not gay/wanting to die/having an abortion/ selling sex for money or any of the things I talk about here, so no, it’s not personal. But it should be, to all of us, even when it’s not.

Here is what has a bee in my bonnet. Euthanasia. Gay marriage. Prostitution, abortion. Hell while we’re there let’s throw in body modification, transvestism and breastfeeding in public. What has got my knickers in a knot? The fact that these things are illegal, immoral or frown upon.

Who  has the right to decide when someone is allowed to die? Surely it is the person who is dying? It would seem not. As crazy as this is. Here’s the thing, if someone is locked in their body, unable to move or talk, unable to live life in any sense and yet, unable to die, surely they should be allowed to instruct others to help them?

If a woman (or man) decides that she (or he) for whatever reason, thinks that selling sex is the answer to their problems or just a good career move, why is this illegal? Surely SURELY it should be no ones right but their own, to decide what to do with their body? How can it be that giving someone a blow job and getting 20 bucks for it (or whatever the going rate is, who knows?) Is illegal enough to get you thrown in jail?

Why does it bother society so much if two people of the same gender get married? Have kids? Live a life together? ( I know gay marriage is legal in SA, I’m talking bigger picture here OK? Work with me…) How does it affect YOU.

Because that’s what it comes down to. How does this affect you. It doesn’t. At all. And yet, it is illegal.

It is about judgement all over again?! Doesn’t it always come down to this? Once upon a time a group of people decided to judge others for something that offended them personally and decided to write a law about it. That’s all I can imagine must have happened. a group of people with power saw it fit to dictate how others live. How others die. We judge everyone all the time, we all know the mommy judgement, the ones we all profess not to have, but what about the judgement society has on others. On the tattooed and pierced, or the men that dress as woman or even for the woman breastfeeding her baby in the corner. It offends our sensibilities. Why? Not because it affects us personally, because it doesn’t. There is no way you can tell me that the gay guys living next door to you affect your every day life. Surely the woman with tattoos on her face and rings through her eye lids doesn’t affect you personally? Does she make a difference to your life on a long term scale? No.

I’m not saying you have to like it, you don’t. I’m not saying you have to be comfortable around these things. Talking about euthanasia is uncomfortable, discussing abortion rights is not pleasant. That’s ok. You can feel uncomfortable, what you can’t do, is project your uncomfortable feelings onto others. Judge away! I don’t care, but don’t make the person who you are judging suffer because of it. Your opinion matters, to you. When it affects you. Not when it affects others and has no standing on your life.

Am I being judgmental for judging those who judge? Yes. I am a hypocrite and I know it. Empathy is a learned skill, and it doesn’t come over night. I was once the person who said ‘eew look at that woman with her tits out feeding that baby in the middle of the shop’. I am ashamed to admit that but I have moved on. No judgement comes with work. Working at accepting everyone and anything, no matter what is it, is a daily battle but one that I feel is necessary.

The problem is, I don’t make the laws. Will these things ever change? We can only hope and wait. And keep learning to accept and love.

And baby will make four…

So I’m pregnant. Yes it was planned, yes we’re excited and now we don’t know what we’re having yet and how do I feel? Awful. Thank you very much.

 

Here is a quick rundown of events:

Monday: I was sitting at the office, when it suddenly occurred to me that I was pregnant. As simple as that. I sent a friend who has just had her baby a text saying “a bit nauseous and a bit crampy and think I may need to pee on a stick”. She replied in a heartbeat and ordered me to go do it right now. Which I didn’t do. I bought one but decided to do it the following morning to be super accurate.

Tuesday morning; 6am: Shaun was writing a big exam, and we had a whole lot of other stuff going on at the same time. All which was coming to a head on the Tuesday. So I had decided before I even did the test, not to mention anything to him regardless of the outcome, until after his exam. So I got up and did the test and as I put the cap back on Lily woke up and called me. So I crammed the test back in the box and rushed off to get her. Once I had settled her and everything I went back in, looked  at the test, and took a double take at the very strong double line.

 

Oh dear

 

Tuesday 6.30am: I am trying to stay calm and not cry because although I’m happy and excited and blah blah I am so super stressed out because of the events of the day we were about to experience. Shaun came in to chat and I burst into tears and gave him the test. He was thrilled, then contemplative and we both realized the implications. I went to work and carried on as normal, feeling pretty awful but keeping it to myself, I wasn’t ready to share.

Wednesday: I did another positive test.  I picked Lily up from school with a fever of 39.1.

Thursday: I left work early and took Lily to the doctor who diagnosed tonsillitis. I asked him to do a blood test for me and let me know how many weeks I was (No I’m not totally irresponsible, I don’t get periods. Breastfeeding FTW!).

Friday: doctor forgot to call me with results

Saturday: doctor called and said I was 6 weeks. I did a clear blue test just to be sure and it confirmed it (I spend way to much money on little sticks to pee on). We then told the family but kept it quiet until I could tell work.

Monday: I told my boss and they were all really happy for me, exactly 2.5 seconds after I told them, Shaun told Facebook.

I booked my appointment for my eight week scan and we went to the doctor fully expecting to see a blob and hopefully a racing heart, only to be greeted with arms and legs and a pounding heart that we could hear as well as see. Turns out the date tests are very unreliable and I’m 12 weeks. Not 8.

 

Oops…

 

So we are due on the 29^th December, I have been plagued by flu twice, a tummy bug and numerous coughs and sniffles, bad morning sickness and lower back pain. Already! I have to remind myself constantly that I am carrying a little person, as my out of body little person is so busy and keeps me on my toes. She is going to be such an awesome big sister! I have felt a lot sicker this time round but it is lifting finally.

 

I’m excited , nervous, thrilled, elated and downright shit scared…