Here is a rant, something that has got me thinking.


* I’m not gay/wanting to die/having an abortion/ selling sex for money or any of the things I talk about here, so no, it’s not personal. But it should be, to all of us, even when it’s not.

Here is what has a bee in my bonnet. Euthanasia. Gay marriage. Prostitution, abortion. Hell while we’re there let’s throw in body modification, transvestism and breastfeeding in public. What has got my knickers in a knot? The fact that these things are illegal, immoral or frown upon.

Who  has the right to decide when someone is allowed to die? Surely it is the person who is dying? It would seem not. As crazy as this is. Here’s the thing, if someone is locked in their body, unable to move or talk, unable to live life in any sense and yet, unable to die, surely they should be allowed to instruct others to help them?

If a woman (or man) decides that she (or he) for whatever reason, thinks that selling sex is the answer to their problems or just a good career move, why is this illegal? Surely SURELY it should be no ones right but their own, to decide what to do with their body? How can it be that giving someone a blow job and getting 20 bucks for it (or whatever the going rate is, who knows?) Is illegal enough to get you thrown in jail?

Why does it bother society so much if two people of the same gender get married? Have kids? Live a life together? ( I know gay marriage is legal in SA, I’m talking bigger picture here OK? Work with me…) How does it affect YOU.

Because that’s what it comes down to. How does this affect you. It doesn’t. At all. And yet, it is illegal.

It is about judgement all over again?! Doesn’t it always come down to this? Once upon a time a group of people decided to judge others for something that offended them personally and decided to write a law about it. That’s all I can imagine must have happened. a group of people with power saw it fit to dictate how others live. How others die. We judge everyone all the time, we all know the mommy judgement, the ones we all profess not to have, but what about the judgement society has on others. On the tattooed and pierced, or the men that dress as woman or even for the woman breastfeeding her baby in the corner. It offends our sensibilities. Why? Not because it affects us personally, because it doesn’t. There is no way you can tell me that the gay guys living next door to you affect your every day life. Surely the woman with tattoos on her face and rings through her eye lids doesn’t affect you personally? Does she make a difference to your life on a long term scale? No.

I’m not saying you have to like it, you don’t. I’m not saying you have to be comfortable around these things. Talking about euthanasia is uncomfortable, discussing abortion rights is not pleasant. That’s ok. You can feel uncomfortable, what you can’t do, is project your uncomfortable feelings onto others. Judge away! I don’t care, but don’t make the person who you are judging suffer because of it. Your opinion matters, to you. When it affects you. Not when it affects others and has no standing on your life.

Am I being judgmental for judging those who judge? Yes. I am a hypocrite and I know it. Empathy is a learned skill, and it doesn’t come over night. I was once the person who said ‘eew look at that woman with her tits out feeding that baby in the middle of the shop’. I am ashamed to admit that but I have moved on. No judgement comes with work. Working at accepting everyone and anything, no matter what is it, is a daily battle but one that I feel is necessary.

The problem is, I don’t make the laws. Will these things ever change? We can only hope and wait. And keep learning to accept and love.


About ournextbigadventure

After a few years of travelling around and itchy feet, my husband and I have embarked on our greatest adventure yet...parenthood! We have been blessed with a beautiful little girl named Lily Sage. Now everyday is filled not with questions of "where to next?" but with baby smiles, hiccups and milky breaths.

One response »

  1. If you’re not endangering the life/lives of someone else I don’t have any problem with the things people do. And I seriously can’t understand people who do have a problem with it. If you don’t believe in gay marriage then simply just don’t get married to someone of the same sex. Why do you have to prevent other people from marrying who they love.

    But I do judge when it comes to smoking or not strapping your kid in in the car.

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