Monthly Archives: October 2013

The story of the two wolves…

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There is a story about a Navajo grandfather who once told his grandson, “Two
wolves live inside me. One is the bad wolf, full of greed and laziness, full
of anger and jealousy and regret. The other is the good wolf, full of joy
and compassion and willingness and a great love for the world. All the time,
these wolves are fighting inside me.” “But grandfather,” the boy said.
“Which wolf will win?” The grandfather answered, “The one I feed.”

For the last few years, I have worked on my good wolf. I have nurtured her
and fed her, I have pumped her full of positivity and self-confidence. Thus
I have grown. I have gained so much confidence in myself as a person, a
mother, a wife and a daughter. I have learnt who I am, and who I want to be.
I have discovered what is important to me and spend a lot of time thinking
about how I can portray myself to the world in the light I want to be seen
in. I strive to be kind, to be thoughtful and to reproduce these qualities
in my daughter. So far I am succeeding which just goes to further prove that
my decisions are the right ones. I am confident in myself and the person I
am.

My good wolf has starved my bad wolf; she is sitting on his weak and
malnourished body and growling down his protests. The bad wolf, the wolf that
represents my low self-confidence, my second guessing, my doubts on who I am
and who I want to me. My thoughts on how I portray myself to others, my
failings as a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother. Those negative
qualities have been kept down for the last few years.

Someone recently fed the bad wolf. This person said awful things to me and
my bad wolf stood up and took notice. He smiled and started to gain weight.
He snapped at my good wolf. These words were aimed at crushing my
confidence, aimed at putting these thoughts into my head and it worked. A
few well-placed jabs and my good wolf was suffering.  Thankfully I have
people around me who build me up, not tear me down. My family and friends
helped me to feed the good wolf again, and started the process of starving
the bad wolf back in to submission.

This experience has taught me that the people we have in our lives, makes
such an enormous difference. They can make or break you, and can affect your
whole life. Now that I have more than just me to worry about, I have a
husband and two children to think of and have to be the person that I want
my girls to be. I have to be the person that they look at, that one day they
can say, I want to be just like my mom, or, I learnt that from my mom. It is
a big job, one all parents are faced with. I recently spoke to a friend who admitted her bad wolf is gaining strength; unfortunately he gains strength a lot easier than he is starved. We are now embarking on the same journey I went through, of starving him slowly, bit by bit. We will get there.
Our children and families deserve all the positivity in the world and they deserve a mother who KNOWS that she is the best that she can be, and not doubt herself. So my dear friends starve that bastard, keep him down! WE deserve better!

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